I want to post a flyer on bulletin boards at school please critique what I have

[JaredK]

madkngkdljgnp

[Frenchcock]

Well, I think that it fits the standards of advertisements, because it would make me go on the site, at least just to see... but it sure looks spamish.

[JaredK]

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[prjav]

i dont know man, it sound like its too good to be true, kinda like it is some sort of

http://www.sticksite.com/spam/spam.jpg

my opinion is: try to make it look less needy and more professional. if i have a way that helps you make money YOU have to be looking for me and not the other way around.

[JaredK]

i dont know man, it sound like its too good to be true, kinda like it is some sort of

http://www.sticksite.com/spam/spam.jpg

my opinion is: try to make it look less needy and more professional. if i have a way that helps you make money YOU have to be looking for me and not the other way around.

One of the things that the guy says to do is connect with the audience by finding out what they want so that's the reason for the first part, I'm going to add bullet points and basically merge and add to the second and 3rd paragraphs and I think that will make the add look professional...connect the product features to the product benefits..

it sound like its too good to be true

......says the guy who's dominating the college scene after getting divorced:lol::hug:

Thanks for your help

[prjav]

......says the guy who's dominating the college scene after getting divorced:lol::hug:


ive never said im banging pussies left and right.

you asked for help and i gave it to you, no need to take a jab at me. i guess the saying is right: the truth hurts.

[JaredK]

Oh dude no, I didn't mean it like that, I meant it like you ARE getting YOUR LIFE TOGETHER (just going to college and taking care of yourself is huge) something people find impossible to do and sometimes people find it "too good to be true" so making the statement that things are "too good to be true" was funny to me (even for an advertisement) because it was CONTRADICTORY to WHO YOU ARE, the life you are now making for yourself. I did not mean to bring you down in any way but rather encourage your positivity (reason for the:hug:) not to jab at you for doubting the advertisement, I actually validated your opinions before I made the comment:cheeky:.

[prjav]

sorry for the misunderstanding and the sandy vagina:confused: lol

i just feel your ad needs not to be needy but capture their attention. Not an easy task for sure.

[Dr. P-Evil]

Jared,
your ad may ask questions, but it's really not asking the right questions.

If you have a way to make money, you have to make it. Then, you have to flash a little cash around your friends and casual acquaintances and wait for them to ask what you're doing and then get them involved and work around it that way until you have referrals.

Then when you solicit people, you can say, hey call Joe the Dentist and he will vouch for me.


supposing u have that, don't make it seem like they will earn a million dollars by calling you. something like "part time /full time work available, flexible hours, work independently, etc. and include your information about support as well"

your ad may produce a few suckers who will buy anything, but you won't be able to build your business with those people. you're better off spending your time networking in clubs and organizations and building your credibility that way and selectively bringing people to buy your product when they ask you how you are doing so well.

[JaredK]

Yep you're right