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Bobo
5th July 2005, 06:56 PM
Had a "near death experience" today btw. Well, not that bad actually, but an experience it was. I went running as usual, but this time I went into the forest. I mean really in the forest, no road or path... a real "off-road" run. I didn't think it through before I went there, it was just an idea as I was running. I'm used to the forests in the southern Finland where there's at least some air between the flying insects, but as I learned today the forests here in the central Finland aren't really the same. The forest I ran into is quite dry and partly easy to move in, but there is this swampy area nearby and as I learned today, it's the home of the biggest, angriest and most scary insects alive! Damn... I guess my speed was high enough during the first 2-3 kilometers, but then as I got tired of jumping up and down in the difficult terrain (and started sweating as hell... nearly 30 degrees celsius in the shadows again today...), the insects noticed I'm there and they attacked me.

It was actually quite scary... I ran as fast as I could but the swarm around me got thicker and thicker, there must have been hundreds of them trying to eat me. I'm not talking about some whining flies or something, I'm talking about blood sucking mosquitos, horseflies so big I've never seen before, and some scary-ass bitches I don't even know what they were. I felt sharp pain all over my body, they were biting and stinging me all over... because I was stupid enough to go there without any insect repellent on my skin, in short pants and a sleeveless shirt, loose enough for anything crawl under. As I was running (in panic) trying to get rid of the fuckin' brainsuckers, I got lost. I have memorized the map of this area and I know most of the smaller roads in the forest too, but there's still so much forest around here that it's easy to get lost for hours. I was lucky having memorized the map, so I knew approximately in which direction I should run, using the sun as my compass. The forest was quite thick so I couldn't run in a straight line, so to avoid running in circles I had to stop from time to time to check where the sun is.

Stopping even for a few seconds wasn't a good idea: the whole swarm landed on my skin right at the same moment I stopped! It was actually quite scary, I looked on my feet and there were literally at least a hundred blood sucking fuckheads on my feet. I slapped them with my hands and I think I could kill about 5-8 on a single slap. And the size of some of those horseflies... damn... at least an inch long fuckers and they really hurt when they bite, I mean really hurt! I have never seen that many insects in my life, not in one place at least. I kept on running through the annoying spider webs with branches scratching my skin... for the first 15-20 minutes I was in real panic, but after a while the situation started feeling funny (I was going mad I guess...). Just think about running in a thick forest with hundreds of big insects trying to suck Your blood and bite pieces off Your skin, things crawling under Your shirt, blood dripping from one big scratch I got on my knee when I fell... insects crawling in Your hair... after a while You start laughing. At leas I did...

Finally I got to a road about 3km from home... I must have been a sight when I stumbled out of the forest, a car went by me just then and they stared at me like I was from outer space or something. The sunshine and open air on the road was too much for most of the insects, and only some followed me for the next km or two. When I finally got home I couldn't stop laughing while examining my hair to get rid of the dangerous crawlies there could be.

One thing I didn't think of when going in the forest was snakes (poisonous adders) and some insects that carry dangerous blood diseases. We don't have malaria here, but we do have one type of fever disease that can lead to fatal brain fever (I don't know its english name, "mole fever" would be the direct interpretation). We also have one type of annoying flies that dig their way under Your scalp and lay their eggs there, a pain in the ass to get rid of them. That fever is spread by a mite... Here's some pics of some of the crawlies that followed me:

http://www.punkki.net/numerokuvat/28paarma.jpg
A horsefly, hurts like hell when it bites. Big fucker. There are many sizes, colors and shapes those fuckers come in, and the whole fucking selection the nature has to offer were biting piecess off me. :x

http://www.lehtikuva.fi/galleria/avikainen/p3.jpg
A local mosquito, sucks blood and leaves an itching spot for a day or two. My feet and neck are full of those red itchy spots... :x

http://www.ihotaudit.net/pics/hirvik.jpg
The most annoying fucker, a "moose fly" (I don't know its english name). This fucker has dropped its wings and is ready to crawl under the scalp to lay eggs. A tough mothafucka it is, You can't squeeze hard enough with Your fingers to kill it. Found two of those in my hair when I got home. Fuck.

http://www.punkki.net/artikkelit/punkki_ihossa.jpg
The most dangerous one: a mite that lurks on the branches and grass and starts sucking blood on Your skin. This is the one that spreads the dangerous "mole fever". Haven't found any of those on my skin yet, tiny motherfuckers... must keep on looking.

http://www.yle.fi/koostamo/user_images/13_674_1091184544.jpg
A wasp. Stings like hell... for some reason there were a couple of those too, killed one on my neck. Those fuckers can kill You if You get too many stings.

http://www.meteor.co.il/Images/Spider%20web%20picture%20Corbis.jpg
A spider web. I hate spiders... ran through several big webs. :x :x :x

Among those I recognized there were some big ugly fuckers I don't even know what they were, and I don't even want to know. Going into the dark forest in the clothes I wore, without any insect repellent... propably one of the most stupid things I've ever done. Still a bit new here in the central Finland, and I learned a good lesson: respect the forest. Damn... If I would have collapsed there for some reason there wouldn't have been too much left of me after a few days. Not to mention the big fuckers that fled me in the bushes, I definately wasn't the biggest animal in the forest. A bear would have been almost the one worse thing than the insects... but I think even a bear would have avoided me because of the insect fog around me.

It must have been my smell... I was sweating like hell because it was so warm... that + the fact that there is a large swamp nearby where all the little flying fuckers are born.

But... now that I survived it (and if I didn't get any diseases), it was actually quite cool experience. I don't fear pain or suffering, otherwise I wouldn't be running marathons... there must be some masochist blood in my veins. That was a cool experience, but I most certainly will not do it again. Shit, I look bad... red spots all over my body. :x :lol:

ArTee63
5th July 2005, 07:22 PM
in short pants and a sleeveless shirt,


Were you and Clockers running together? :lol:

Really, get yourself sprayed down at this time of year. I recently moved to a more rural area and the bugs are far worse than when I was living closer to the city. It's just a habit now to get the insect repellant on before going outside. Guess you had to learn the hard way, buddy. Good luck with those bites.

Maybe the laidies will feel sorry for you and help "nurse" you back to health. :cool

Bobo
5th July 2005, 07:28 PM
I should have known, I simply didn't think... if the fuckers would have attacked me as I entered the forest, I'd have turned back right away... but those evil bitches waited until I'm deep in the forest before really attacking. :x

Now, all I need is a girl to take care of me... shit, I've been too lazy on my chickhunt recently. :x :x :x

Valk
5th July 2005, 07:39 PM
:lol: Sorry, but I couldnt stop laughing when I read this. :lol: :lol:
Must've been scary but the image of you in a cloud of insects is just too funny. :lol: :lol:

Shane_Bos
5th July 2005, 07:40 PM
I would get sooooooo paranoid one of those fuckers was in my head or something. I dont mind the odd bug or 2 but when you get loads it gives me the creeps.

Bobo
5th July 2005, 07:45 PM
:lol: Sorry, but I couldnt stop laughing when I read this. :lol: :lol:
Must've been scary but the image of you in a cloud of insects is just too funny. :lol: :lol:

:lol: I know what You mean. It was definately something those forest animals have never seen before: a weird looking white thing running like hell, waving its hands all over... with a crazy smile on its face... At least one rabbit I saw ran so fast and scared away from me I'm not sure if it will stop before the end of this week... :lol: :lol: :lol:

Bobo
5th July 2005, 07:46 PM
I would get sooooooo paranoid one of those fuckers was in my head or something. I dont mind the odd bug or 2 but when you get loads it gives me the creeps.
They outnumbered me big time. I can still feel things crawling on my skin, but there's nothing there... :lol:

Valk
5th July 2005, 07:47 PM
Maybe they've moved to under your skin. :lol:

Bobo
5th July 2005, 07:49 PM
:shock:

Bobo
5th July 2005, 08:38 PM
Damn I'm itching all around... took some anti histamines but so far they're not helping. I guess I won't sleep tonight... :x

Clockers
5th July 2005, 10:11 PM
Well buddy it looks like you had one creepy :shock: day! :lol:

wern
6th July 2005, 01:12 AM
go to a doctor. I started reading your thread and thought, oh man not another one of those near death things, but your story is so wierd and original!

I cant believe you didn't use insect repellant!!!!1
I wouldn't even go to a forest before I knew what animals inhabited it. I grew up around Australian bush, arund the most dangerous creatures in the world, and I advise you, check what lurks there. Insects are nothing compared to animals such as bears and snakes.

BIGOKE
6th July 2005, 05:41 AM
Bobo you make a good story teller. You should consider making a carreer out of it. Shit I'm still laughing at the way you describe your experience even though it was sort of a near death experience. You remind me of Gerald Durrel who also had a comedic way of describing dangerous/serious situations. Yeah you made my day. Cant rep you but consider yourself repped. And why did you leave that lazer sword at home again? Didn't you learn from the last time? :lol:

zwmusic
6th July 2005, 01:49 PM
:lol: Sorry, but I couldnt stop laughing when I read this. :lol: :lol:
Must've been scary but the image of you in a cloud of insects is just too funny. :lol: :lol:

:lol: :lol: I was just going to post the same but Valk came ahead of me... :lol: :lol: I thought the image of Bobo runnig, as fast as possible, with hungry insects after him quite hilarious. That would make a hell of a cartoon.

Good thing you got out of that stick spot Bobo.

ArTee63
6th July 2005, 03:00 PM
I thought the image of Bobo runnig, as fast as possible, with hungry insects after him quite hilarious.

It was the thought of Bobo in shorts that made me laugh. :lol: I wonder if he borrows Clockers shorts?

Bobo
6th July 2005, 04:54 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol: I'm still laughing... a little bit shameful situation at work when people kept on asking about the red spots on my hands and face. Most of them are almost healed but some of the horsefly bites seem to be infected and they will be bothering me for a few more days I guess. I learned my lesson... but I have no regrets, really... it was in a way a good experience. It was some real action my life needed to spice things up, an memorable moment for a change... not many of those in my life recently. I repeated the experience in a dream last night (when I finally fell asleep), but even the dream world couldn't copy the real experience in its full horror! Really... there were so many ugly fuckers eating me yesterday that I can't even find the correct words to describe it, impossible to exaggerate. Unbelievable... damn. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Bobo
6th July 2005, 05:19 PM
Bobo you make a good story teller. You should consider making a carreer out of it.
Thanks, man, what a nice thing to say. I used to write alot, and in comprehensive school (classes 8. and 9.) our finnish teacher took one hour every other week to read my stories to the whole class, and they loved my stuff! I was going to be a writer, at least everyone thought so, but for some reason it never happened. That insect thingy wasn't really too great story, I could have used more time... it was just some unplanned text. And, my english isn't good enough for any serious writing either, my best skills are in finnish on that department. I don't know if I could still write like I did before, but Your comment did bring some long lost dreams to my head. I still have the dream of writing a book some day, and maybe I will when I'm old and gray or something. Anyway, thanks for Your kind words. :D

Consider Yourself repped, my friend! :mrgreen

ArTee63
6th July 2005, 05:31 PM
Consider Yourself repped, my friend! :mrgreen

BIGOKE is a brown noser!!!
:lol:

BIGOKE
7th July 2005, 06:32 AM
I love you too ArTee :wink:

BTW Bobo you spontaneous account of the situation was much better than if someone had sat down and made up a story, I like that kind of storytelling better. But seriously though you have a way with words and I encourage you to try at least to fullfill a small part of your dream to be a writer. And the language thing.. that wasn't a problem at all. :D

ArTee63
7th July 2005, 12:34 PM
I love you too ArTee :wink:

I'm not that kind of guy.
:lol:

Bobo
7th July 2005, 03:45 PM
Thanks again, BIGOKE. I can't rep You again this soon... :lol: , but Your words do feel good. Thanks, man! :cool

ownd
8th July 2005, 05:43 AM
I hate mosquitoes

Jilted Mind
10th July 2005, 03:27 PM
The blood suckers are called Tics in english, and they give you lime disease. But I like "mole fever" too, I love translations. :p

Hope you found all those bitches.

Bobo
10th July 2005, 03:35 PM
I think I survived them... Bobo vs. bugs: 1-0.

BIGOKE
11th July 2005, 05:38 AM
I'm not that kind of guy.
:lol:
Damn you had me all excited with that brown nose stuff.. We should change your name to ArTease.. :twisted:

soserious
11th August 2005, 11:59 PM
jeez Bobo that is quite freaky!
for dangerous swarms of bugs you need protection...




















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