relationship issue

[gnomepunter]

ok i feel like a fucking teen drama posting this but i realy need another opinion.
ok there is this chick who wants to date me and i her but i have friend who thought she liked him but she never did.she never had any feelings for him but he really has a thing for this chick .and here is the problem i have a complicated past with marriage and stuff lol.so im worried that people will think im a sorry fucking asshole for dating this chick b/c of my other friend liking her and all.lol god i sound like a dam teen drama show lol /facepalm.but i would like you all to give me your opinions.thanks for any input.

[Apollo]

Gnomepunter, I mean this in the best possible way because I love all my CC brothers, so don't take it personally, but if you don't want to sound like a "fucking teen drama" then don't type like one. I want to give you some advice but damn it was hard to get through that post :lol:

She likes you, you like her, go for it. If you really, really care what your male friend thinks and you need his blessing to proceed with the relationship then ask him first, but honestly, it's not in the man code to pass up a chick because one of your friends likes her when you both know she likes you and not him. It's not like she's his ex or anything.

And caring too much about what other people think about you is more trouble than it's worth, most of the time.

[giorgio]

if you really like her then go for it and try to explain it to your friend.

If you just want to get laid you should....actually just go for it. you'll get laid and you're friend will forgive you soon enough.

[DappyStyle]

Man, its not any drama, its pretty normal !
The first thing you have to do is telling your friend that she is interested on you, but that your friendship with him is also important to you and the last thing you want is, losing both.
I bet he, as your friend, will understand man.. it happened to me, not like this, not a date, but... kinda. It happened to me, even last friday when I went out, a girl coming in my direction and giving me her phone number, when I had been the whole night hearing my friend saying "she's hot, she's looking at me, should I go there, shouldnt I"... and then this happens and I was like... fuck her, you are my friend, you take the mobile number, there are many girls and I'm committed already... but he understood that wasn't my fault.

And your friend will also understand that the fact she is interested on you and not on him is really important, once you are trying to go for a new relationship. And you will see he is going to realize he has to move away and let you try. In the last case, if it is really necessary... if you really love this girl and he is not understanding he has to move out then just focus on fighting for her, its because he is not your friend !

Go for this girl man !!!

[Dr. P-Evil]

how about this.

i was on the other end of this spectrum. i was in love with a girl and i projected things onto her as the perfect woman. well my best friend, a brother to me in many ways was fucking her casually.

here's the kicker, he was chaeting around on a girl that was one of my best friends...i started crushing on her because she was helping my get on with my life and get over this girl i was in love with...and i rebounded to to my best friend and i felt so comforted by her unwaivering support of me....also because my best friend and her weren't official, but close enough to where he shouldn't be fucking anyone else.

so when i tell this girl that i'm having feelings for her and i feel bad about because i'm getting jealous and i don't want to get the way of my two best friend's happiness...so i'm gonna distance myself from the crew of friends...i told her not to tell my male best friend because i feel bad enough as it is..and i wasn't trying to hit on her...i really felt bad and wanted some distance from everyone so i don't get in their way with jealous rage. so she tells him...and i get pissed at her for telling him...well...i eventually forgive her....but afterwards i find out how pissed my best friend was that i even liked her.....all the while...he was fucking the girl i was in love with and cheating on my female best friend as well.

long story short...he fucking cock blocked me and betrayed me all at the same time...i eventually grew up and forgave they guy for trying to be greedy with the pussy...but i still don't trust him more than just a guy to party with and i cut him out of my life for about 4 years.

you do what you have to do, but tell your friend first....forgive him if he's a jerk in the beginning and is jealous....give him time....i've been on this end of the spectrum 2 other times in my life..the guy with fool's hope....it made me sick to my stomache that this girl i liked wasn't into me...and worse, into my friend.....i have game...i can pull chicks hotter than the girls i fell for.....but when you project qualities onto people when you are just friends....it's a hell of an attachment because the friendship makes the love really strong in your head. i've learned in life that i'm not a personality guy, either a girl wants to fuck me or she doesn't....if she doesn't, i'll never win her over....i'm lucky that i get enough attention from women without trying that hard...so i don't bother trying with girls who don't show immediate interest....i also don't try to be a friend first....because i come off as a guy who can get girls..i have to play that role...when i played the nice guy card and try to be the friend...it didn't fit my image.

in truth, a part of him may never get over this girl...i have pieces of my heart all with three other girls in my life, friends who didn't want me...wounds that will never fully heal...but like i said...you accept that it's not yours and you move on....i've become jaded over the years....but it all boils to integrity. you don't ask for permission to date this girl....you tell your friend the truth, even if that means asking your new girlfriend to tell him that she's not interested so he has closure....you tell him that it is what it is and you will work with him and not flaunt your new relationship infront of him. he has to tell you when he can't handle and you and the girlfriend can either leave the area or something.

sorry for the rant...i had some pretty painful flashbacks...but i also wanted to stress that you love, lose, and live....you also have to know yourself. i had the wrong formula...to reference the tv show Friends (i had the image of a Joey, but i acted like a Ross) and it didn't work until i realized, i won't win them over by being nice...i have to go for it from the beginning and show my interest right away...(can you imagine going to parties with this girl who you love who looks at you like a brother, who's a 7 at best, and you're getting the eye from 8's and 9's and you can't figure out why the girl you want doesn't want you back and why these hotter chicks who you have nothing invested in want you...it drove me crazy for about 4 years of college because that math wasn't adding up..it's not like i was a jerk..these girls were my friends) Many guys don't take a hard look objectively at themselves.

anyways...bottom line....be upfront..don't ask for permission, but you and your girl should not be insensitive to his feelings....it's very difficult to swallow what he will have to swallow...so be patient...

to the nice guys....if it's working for you, great....if not, take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself if you need to play that card...you may find 'acting like the aloof flirt' may be more successful than investing too much into girls you will never get.

again...sorry for the rant.....i hope somebody gets something out of this that helps them....from either end of the spectrum.....i have a very weird perspective that i don't know if i'm alone in this or not, but i have a natural radar to walk into a party and be attracted to women who don't want me....and i had to learn to open my eyes to the women who did want me.

best of luck man.