How to last slow in the bedroom?

[Redwood]

My performance at bedroom is seriously weakening because I can't last long enough to please my partner. Last time I made love with an ex, she took it up the vagina. I cummed faster before she climax, then I had to return the favour by giving her oral. I don't know about you guys but I can never seem to get erections as hard as those when doing it with a girl compared to masturbating. Whenever I masturbate I keep wanking while I'm flaccid once I get real hard it only takes a few seconds before ejaculation ensues. Sucks really, this has caused me to be anxious, at first it was size that made me weary. But after my first sex experience I know my tool is good but its not the best. I've been kegeling regularly but I don't see any fucking improvement, infact I'd say my eq has slightly diminshed.

Another question, you all know I have excess foreskin that gives me a paraphimosis, so when I cum while masturbating my spooj gets all over my hand. Do you guys aim for a spot or use a cloth?

[Codzilla]

Sex is VERY mind and thought oriented Reddie. If you worry about WANTING to make your girl climax, or you worry about cumming too soon, its going to happen, you won't last long. Along with doing your kegels, you really have to learn to just treat sex as more of a natural and relaxing thing, instead of worrying about how your partner feels. If you just take it easy, relax and concentrate more on sharing your complete 5 senses with her, she will be more fulfilled with the sex you give her. I had the same problem with my girl, but she sat down and spoke to me and told me i was just trying to hard. Once i had learnt to relax, the half hour mark came, and then soon enough i was hitting the 1 hour mark and longer. Theres a thread i did on the physical side of controlling yourself in the bedroom, and theres another one that i THINK Valk did more on the mental side of controlling yourself. I'll try and find em for you and link them below. Good luck buddy.

http://www.cheekycherry.com/ccforums/showthread.php?t=2410
http://www.cheekycherry.com/ccforums/showthread.php?t=108
http://www.cheekycherry.com/ccforums/showthread.php?t=110

[ModestGains]

I don't know if this works for everyone, but when I'm having sex, if I feel like I'm going to come, I go to the last possible second before I actually come. I then stop and use changing positions or something as an excuse, and when I continue, I no longer have to come. I don't know if this is a universally usable technique, but it works for me and I can pretty much go forever using it :)

Friends have told me it worked for them as well.

[Codzilla]

Yep thats a technique i sometimes use aswell. But then again, if you are going for a while, sometimes after wanting to cum once, you will need to cum again after a couple of minutes, so you cant realy keep changing positions. Its a brilliant way to start learning that control, but once you learn how to control your mind, relax yourself and just not try too hard, you will not need to change positions, unless you WANT to.

But Reddie Modest is right, that may be the best way to start learning that physical control.

[Redwood]

Alright thanks guys, I should give the switching positions excuse a try next time. One problem I have is once I hit that climax, I am tempted to "finish". So any ideas how to detect before hitting climax. Thanks for the links Codsey.

[Codzilla]

Masterbation. Learn how to do it in a man to hand relationship. Only you can find the point where you feel you're going to cum soon. Just stop for 10-15 seconds, the whack on.

[doug]

Hey Redwood !

I know what you are talking about....it has happened to me twice but my girl was cool with it...because I can always give her oral and then I will get another erection and go on...

I don't know if this happens to any other guy here...but after I come for the first time, it takes me some minutes to get another erection,and when I start doing it with this second "chance" ,I last much longer and I can actually go quite fast and still I won't cum early...

What the other dudes say it's right...don't worry about it...if you stop worrying about it, you will control your body.

Don't stop enjoying sex because u are stressed or nervous about cumming early. ENJOY IT! Have fun...get pleasure and so on.

Remember : the more you fear something, the more real it is ;)

[Anthrax]

You should definitely learn to do the following, and add this to your bag of tricks... When you reach the point of return, stop thrusting (or slow down) and perform as long and hard of a kegel as you possibly can (I'm serious, you are trying to fight the orgasm)... You will feel the orgasm, but you won't ejaculate (that much) and it will be easier to regain your erection if you lose it... This is called a dry orgasm.

The earlier you do it, the more likely you are to keep your erection... Also, keep in mind that this is a multi-orgasmic technique... If you get good at this, you will basically be able to have an orgasm, and continue as if nothing happened... Practice this when you masturbate.

[TheThreatdown]

Another option is you can blow one out, and then fuck her "For realz" afterward. I can usually get it up within 20 minutes after the first load if I'm with my girl. (If wanking I usually don't care enough)

That's what I did before I got the kegel power. I think I might have to do that again for a while because I'm not able to wank a lot... maybe 2 times a week now with my PE and work schedule the way it is.

This is a good option for you if your woman will accept that. If you rawdog though and pull out, take a pee between sessions or you might have some leftover swimmers to leave up in there. Pulling out is 94% effective IF and ONLY IF you piss before sex and never cum in her.

[Rum_Runner]

or fuck more often I usually have a hard time lasting long however since the wife and I have been having more sex I can last a good ten fifteen minutes, it is getting to the point where she is begging me to drop a load on her. Then afterwards i am recovering like I never have before ever, it is taking me five minutes to be ready for another go. Not that she allows it to happen but I am ready. So I go with have sex more frequent, you are bound to get better

[BEAST]

I don't know if this works for everyone, but when I'm having sex, if I feel like I'm going to come, I go to the last possible second before I actually come. I then stop and use changing positions or something as an excuse, and when I continue, I no longer have to come. I don't know if this is a universally usable technique, but it works for me and I can pretty much go forever using it :)

Friends have told me it worked for them as well.

I just used to tell them to stop for a bit if they were on top, they usually took it fine....I just said its because they're hot and doing it too well :lol: and after which I was ok. But that strategy does work wonders...not many people can go constantly flat out like in porn

[G-Spot19]

Only in porn really. I dunno how they do it either. I guess they are just jaded.

[TheThreatdown]

Only in porn really. I dunno how they do it either. I guess they are just jaded.

Experience.

I mean, Peter North has been in about 1500 films. Including the ones where he has all the scenes. Ron Jeremy has fucked about 4000 different women.

When you get that much pussy and it's all different pussy your stamina likely becomes crazy.

[Redwood]

Thanks alot for the input guys, I'm relieved that I'm not the only one with that issue and I'm glad I did'nt decide to continue to suffer in silence. I've been doing the delay method while masturbating, I masturbate then get an erection then stop briefly kegel 10 hard times and continue, stopping each time to kegel when I sense a climax approaching.

I've been really thinking of a circumcision. Might help by desensitizing which will take alot off and last me longer.

[TheThreatdown]

Actually a ton of websites say that there are complications with doing that.

Tread lightly. Personally if I still had my foreskin I'd keep it.

[Redwood]

The switching position excuse won't really work here because all the asian(chinese, malay and filipina) girls I've slept with don't want to take me up their ass.

I mean they're totally clueless and their bad at bed. When I want to switch the position by telling them the name of the position they don't know and by the time I help them switch, I'm soft.

I also need to try out more positions, anyone know any sites of such?

[TheThreatdown]

The switching position excuse won't really work here because all the asian(chinese, malay and filipina) girls I've slept with don't want to take me up their ass.

I mean they're totally clueless and their bad at bed. When I want to switch the position by telling them the name of the position they don't know and by the time I help them switch, I'm soft.

I also need to try out more positions, anyone know any sites of such?
You need to train them. Traditional asian women don't know how to fuck. My fiancee still won't put her back into it. I'm breaking her of this crap though.

Basically what you can do is woman on top, you do the moving. That one is hard to cum in but feels as good as the mish for her. just hold her forward on you and thrust up. That's a very good one to use to keep the stamina and excitement up. Most women just love the standard missionary if you can hold it together.

As for more positions... the best ones imho are the basics: Mish, woman on top (cowgirl), Doggy and a couple of other variations: one I call the flat doggy, I don't know what it's really called... have the girl lie down, you straddle her on your knees, lie down on top of her and stick it in and then rock back and forth.

The other is my favorite, the bump. I've explained it a lot.

[Redwood]

threatdown I even being uncut my foreskin gives me alot of pain more than anything because its tight and I have a phimosis. Even when I'm erect the foreskin is crumpled at the glans giving me a paraphimosis. When I make love the foreskin has no sensation. Suppose I were to let the foreskin at the middle of the glans and the sex movement(up and down0 it only hurts more than anything. And I simply can't use a condom.

[Redwood]

You need to train them. Traditional asian women don't know how to fuck. My fiancee still won't put her back into it. I'm breaking her of this crap though.

Basically what you can do is woman on top, you do the moving. That one is hard to cum in but feels as good as the mish for her. just hold her forward on you and thrust up.

That's what I do, variation of vaginal sex.

I get the girl to sit on top of me, her thighs resting on mine and her hands on my love handles. Our face facing each other. Then I get her to spread and take in the dick. Then I grab her butt and use them to get her up and down while I'm moving at the same time.

The other is the usual, me resting on top of her with my hands spread apart near her shoulder.

Then another is taking her legs and resting them on my shoulde then I kneel on the bed and stick my dick in her vagina and rock back and forth.

I want to try sideway and from the back but some more length like 7.5'' will make it perfect.

[TheThreatdown]

The spoon (side to side) is highly overrated, you don't get much in unless you're poretty big, and even then it's like fucking her with an average or small dick.

I'm pretty sure when we say switching positions we don't mean doing anal sex.

[Rum_Runner]

Redwood just bend them over for some doggy style and hold onto there hips, they will never fuck the same

[wern]

What I do if I can't kegel the feeling away is just stop thrusting and start to slowly and passiionately kiss her in the lips, neck and shoulders. This change of pace makes things much more romantic for the woman and allows you to recover.
Also you don't have to change positions if you are in missionary. Just pull put and give her a devious, teasing, look. Then wait maybe 5 seconds and insert the head in, then pull out, then rub your penis head over her clit, then wait a few seconds, then insert the tip, and so on while kegelling whenever the head is out. Eventually the urge to come will go away while she will be much more horny due to the teasing (women love to be teased)

[Steve Madden]

Words worth their weight in gold.

[jason12]

Am I the only one bothered by the title of this thread? Last slow in the bed? Does that mean right now you are lasting fast?

[Codzilla]

:lol: yeah it is a bit of an odd title. Should really be last longer instead of last slow. But thats Reddie for ya, he's twisted like that :mrgreen

[Steve Madden]

I'm bothered as well, but I wrote it off to his having lived in an Asian country for a long time.

Me lasta looooooooowng slow in bed.

[Codzilla]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Loooong slow hahah thats classic

[Rum_Runner]

me love you long time.

[The Assman]

Its too bad that you cant use a condom, because you could try using the numbing gel inside the condoms...it really worked for me, afater that i was soo used to lasting long and i was more confident...If you really cant use a condom then just give a little quick wank off a few hours before you do the deed...it works the best!

[jason12]

what kind of numbing gel did you use?

[Steve Madden]

BOOM!! Tough actin' Tinactin.

[Rum_Runner]

Worth it's weight in gold. :lol:

[Anthrax]

BOOM!! Tough actin' Tinactin.


Hahah... You get my vote for quote of the week.


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[Steve Madden]

"...and that could be tough. I mean, lookit...".

I really laughed out loud there quite a bit. What a find! Really takes me back.

[llyod]

one of the best things I can think of is: the ablity to read your cock.

The thing I like to do is to go in bursts. I will start slow and steady not really pushing myself and then gradually build up and then keep going at near full pelt until you are about 20seconds from cumming. Then slow back down going at a pace that takes you further from cumming, I find this also teases the girl a bit, cos u brought them so close to climaxng but u have held them in a state of ecstacy, then when you feel like you're not close to cumming put the medal to the metal and let rip again. By this time she will be climaxing or tantilizingly close to and when she does it will be better for her cos of all the teasing that you did before, if you want you can slow down again and just repeat the whole thing, technically doing this you can last as long as you want, cos you keep slowing down when you feel that you are close to cumming. I can last hours using this technique and only feel the need to stop when I am actually tired.

[Codzilla]

I can last hours using this technique and only feel the need to stop when I am actually tired.

Check the stud of the bedroom!!! I like the method, its very true. The method of nerve buffering is awesome aswell. It literally makes you not feel the need to cum, desensitizes your head so to speak, and enables you to pump away at full pelt for ages. At one time i was fucking her doggy style HARD and she was in ecstasy, after a while she screamed "take it baby its yours, take it"!!! So i carried on pumping, and at the end of it, i just couldnt cum. I actually got completely tired and just had to give up. Lol but she got what she wanted anyway, and she paid me back in full the next morning with a bitch of a blowjob!!!!! :cool

[Redwood]

I'm bothered as well, but I wrote it off to his having lived in an Asian country for a long time.

Me lasta looooooooowng slow in bed.

That's not how they talk like that in Singapore...

[Redwood]

Now that you've said it though it kinda strikes as being awkward. Lasting slow? hmmm... what I mean is being able to cum slower which beats a quickie or a fast one.

[Anthrax]

"Cum slower" sounds like you are trying to cum in slow-motion... But whatever the name of the thread is, there is a lot of useful information here... Take the time to sort through it, and use some of it...