G-Spot19
26th December 2007, 07:09 AM
Mixed up some satires and added some of my own stuff.
Twas the night before Xmas and all through the house
The whole damn family was drunk as a louse
Grandma and Grandpa were singing a damn song
And the kid was in bed flogging on his dong
Ma, just home from the whore house, and dad smoking grass
I just crawled into bed for a nice piece of ass
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter
I jumped out of bed to see what was the matter
Away to the window I flew like a flash
Threw open the shutters and fell on my ass
The moon on the breast of my new hired ho
Gave quite a rise to my southern pole
When what to my blood shot eyes should appear
But a rusty old sleigh and 8 fucking reindeer
With a little old driver pounding on his dick
I knew in a moment, it must be Saint Nick
Slower than snails his reindeer they came
He bitched and he swore as he called them by name
Damnit Dancer, and Dasher, Screw you Prancer and Vixen
To Hell with Comet and Cupid, Fuck you Donder and Blitzen,
To the top of the roofs, to the top of the walls,
onwards you bastards before I cut off your balls
So up to the top of the house, the fuckers they flew
With a sleigh full of beer and Santa's fat ass too.
Even with Ma moaning, still i heard
The flopping and plopping of each reindeer turd.
Then down the chimney he came , like a bat outta Hell,
and I knew for a fact the fat fucker had fell
He said not a word, but went straight to his work
unzipped his fly, and gave his dick a jerk.
He filled the stockings with pretzels and beer,
and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
Then up the chimney he rose with a thunderous fart,
the son of a bitch, he blew the damn chimney apart
He stumbled to his sleigh, to his team he gave the finger
Then the flew away, leaving the smell of reindeer shit to linger
But I heard him exclaim, as he rode out of sight:
Piss on you all, this is been a hell of a night.
Twas the night before Xmas and all through the house
The whole damn family was drunk as a louse
Grandma and Grandpa were singing a damn song
And the kid was in bed flogging on his dong
Ma, just home from the whore house, and dad smoking grass
I just crawled into bed for a nice piece of ass
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter
I jumped out of bed to see what was the matter
Away to the window I flew like a flash
Threw open the shutters and fell on my ass
The moon on the breast of my new hired ho
Gave quite a rise to my southern pole
When what to my blood shot eyes should appear
But a rusty old sleigh and 8 fucking reindeer
With a little old driver pounding on his dick
I knew in a moment, it must be Saint Nick
Slower than snails his reindeer they came
He bitched and he swore as he called them by name
Damnit Dancer, and Dasher, Screw you Prancer and Vixen
To Hell with Comet and Cupid, Fuck you Donder and Blitzen,
To the top of the roofs, to the top of the walls,
onwards you bastards before I cut off your balls
So up to the top of the house, the fuckers they flew
With a sleigh full of beer and Santa's fat ass too.
Even with Ma moaning, still i heard
The flopping and plopping of each reindeer turd.
Then down the chimney he came , like a bat outta Hell,
and I knew for a fact the fat fucker had fell
He said not a word, but went straight to his work
unzipped his fly, and gave his dick a jerk.
He filled the stockings with pretzels and beer,
and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
Then up the chimney he rose with a thunderous fart,
the son of a bitch, he blew the damn chimney apart
He stumbled to his sleigh, to his team he gave the finger
Then the flew away, leaving the smell of reindeer shit to linger
But I heard him exclaim, as he rode out of sight:
Piss on you all, this is been a hell of a night.