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Shane_Bos
8th August 2006, 08:19 PM
Ok, so ive just broken up with my hot now ex-girlfriend who ive known since we were little but only hooked up about 5 weeks ago.

My reasoning was that we had 5 arguments in as many weeks.

Argument 1: We were down the beach with some of my mates drinking on a hot day, we aranged to go home and get ready to go out but i felt ill and passed out on my bed. When she rang me i was off with her apparently but i dont remember this happening. I can understand why this upset her but i didnt have chance to tell her i wouldnt be going out, i passed out!

Argument 2: We aranged to meet one night, she met her friends before me cos i was at work until late-ish. She text me while i was at work and said she was going to be doing drugs. I said she could chose, see me or do drugs with her mates. I ended up going home, she didnt do the drugs, but was too late by this point. She thought i was trying to change her. I said she can do drugs, just not around me. I was just pissed off cos we aranged to meet and now we couldnt.

Argument 3: We went clubbing one night, with my friends, and aparently they didnt make her feel welcome and she saw/heard one of them say something nasty about her, got upset, got a taxi home without me. I was annoyed, i had to walk home. When i met her near my house, we argued and she went home, locked herself up and wouldnt speak. This annoys me beyond belief, when there's a problem and yet, you wont even talk to sort it out.

Cant even remember what argument 4 was.

Argument 5: I waited up for her until 12.30pm last night for her to get home at work (she finishes at 11 but sometimes stays later). She actualy went out and didnt tell me so i got fed up of waiting and went to bed. Then today, we were meant to go out about 3.30. I turned down plans to meet a friend i havent seen in ages to meet her. However, my ex goes home and without telling me, goes to sleep cos she went out last night then went to work without sleeping. Aparently, she couldnt take 10 seconds out of an 8 hour shift to txt me to tell me. I try and speak but she doesnt see theres a problem so we argue, we split up.

Now, whenever theres a disagreement, im the sort of person that tries to talk things out. She, however, gets annoyed, puts the phone down then we have to argue by txt cos thats the only way she will reply. Also, she never listens to what i say. Argument 5, she kept saying, 'im tired, for fuck sake, thats all'. When that wasnt my problem. I tried to explain that it was the fact she didnt tell me we wouldnt be seeing eachother so i could have done something else with my long-time-no-see friend and the fact i waited up 1 1/2 hours the night before for her.

I coldnt speak to her so i wrote her a letter and dropped it round her house saying that this wasnt a plan to get rid of her, my reasons for parting, the reason i had to split up by txt (cos she wouldnt answer the phone! :x ) and that i wanted to be friends cos we've known eachotha our whole lives and when we finally get to be together, by ourselves, we're wicked etc.

I even waited by her house incase she wanted to speak but she txt me saying, 'leave me alone. i dont wana hear from you, not after today, not again. i duno why you wana hurt me so much but your plans worked. I dont think i can be your friend. Not when i wanted more. You could have just stopped playing me like every other guy.'

Im so pissed off cos its all bullshit. I know shes been fucked around alot by men. I think, shes got a ready made stereotype of men in her head, and for that reason, has to be 'strong' and not admit shes wrong and also, any man that splits up with her automatially played her.

Fuck! I never played her, i put more effort into this relationship that i have into any other. I tell her that and everything else in my letter and still, 'i played her'. It fucking annoys me when people cant see past the end of their own fuckin noses!

Shit guys, she was georgeous too.

Shane_Bos
8th August 2006, 08:31 PM
Now shes just txt me lines from a song...

'Never wana say bye bye,
And i never wana see you cry,
Cos theres some things in my life that i still have to change, baby.

Never wana do you wrong...'

What the fuck does that mean?

Thought Pro
8th August 2006, 08:31 PM
Looks mean very little when the true self shines.

zwmusic
8th August 2006, 08:47 PM
Fuck! I never played her, i put more effort into this relationship that i have into any other. I tell her that and everything else in my letter and still, 'i played her'. It fucking annoys me when people cant see past the end of their own fuckin noses!

Shit guys, she was georgeous too.

That's a hot girl for you. Actually, that's the common type of girl who thinks the world revolves around her. They don't think about anyone but themselves.

Shane_Bos
8th August 2006, 09:17 PM
My interpretation is that shes been fucked around alot by guys so whenever i bring up something that bothered me, like today, she puts up a barrier and wont even try to see what im tryin 2 say and turns it on me by sayin im tryin 2 split us up or that she dont see no problem so its my fault for bringin it up when theres nuthin wrong.

I spoke to some friends about it and they reckon she'll be ringin me within the next week or so. I aint gona make an effort. The balls in her court. But if she wants 2 get back together, im gona have to tell her all this shit before she hangs up on me :cheeky:

Shane_Bos
8th August 2006, 09:31 PM
New txt...

'plz lets just work this out. i wana b wit u. dnt wana lose u. but i get the impression u dnt wana b with me anymore at all. let me kno, my batterys low. kisses x'

zwmusic
8th August 2006, 09:32 PM
What did I tell you? She's a girl... how can you talk reason into them?

Netgear
8th August 2006, 10:00 PM
Shane firstly if you think she is worth it then persue her. Also if i were you i would right her another letter. Simialr to the one on here, explaining what annoyed you. She is more likely to read the whole letter than listen to all you have to say if you try to say it all to her.

Shane_Bos
8th August 2006, 10:03 PM
Yeh i was thinking about the letter thing. Its a good idea. If we get back together, somethings gota change, and to do that, she has to understand what the fuck im feeling.

Netgear
8th August 2006, 10:05 PM
Preciesly

G-Spot19
8th August 2006, 10:08 PM
Best of luck to you buddy. I hope it works out for whats best for you. you gotta consider that over anything else.

soserious
9th August 2006, 06:38 AM
What did I tell you? She's a girl... how can you talk reason into them?
:lol:
Now that`s classic!

{edit= You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to zwmusic again.}

hugh g rection
9th August 2006, 07:12 AM
God man, sounds like my last girlfriend. Insanely hot body and face, incredible sex drive and sex, amazing to be around, and quite smart with a good high paying career in mind but the want to be a mother to children and stay home when the time comes.

Everything seemed locked in, and I was quite pleased. I'm not a big fan of talking on the phone and neither is she so we both texted or IM'ed quite often when we weren't together.

Well soon enough we started having arguments about dumb shit. Things that were not my fault and that she would refuse to accept any blame for. I also am the type to try and work things out with someone, as I hate to leave a conversation angry but she would just say "I've gotta go, bye" and hang up. Then we would text and what not and she would be extremely difficult.

When we were together it was the most amazing I've had, sex wise, feeling wise, mentally, spiritually, whatever. I realized though that this girl had been hurt by too many guys and her views on relationships had been so badly broken she was just impossible to fix. I took a hell of a lot of verbal abuse from her and tried to be calm and courteous about it because I know how she has been damaged. The thing is, I've been damaged too but I come into each relationship trying to be fair and let the past be the past.

Well at almost 3 months of this I decided I could take no more. She would literally tell me she loved me one day and be so caring and the next rip my heart to pieces. She refused to call me or answer from my number because she knew I was done, so I finally had to call from a random phone to get ahold of her.

I tried to keep it civil with her but since we have parted ways she has become quite a shit about things, and gone on to tell the bird I'm with now some untrue things. She even told her that I would rip her apart and cause her all sorts of pain because my cock is so large(good thing I'd already nailed the new girl the night before and she had loved it), but honestly she has no right to be telling anyone anything like that.

Your ex girl and my ex both share the same problem, they haven't grown up and realized a good thing when they have it. They are both stuck in the past expecting to be hurt by men constantly so every little issue becomes a giant fight that is always the guys fault. You and I were doomed from start sorry to say, and we cannot do anything to help these girls. It's just a question of if or when they will grow up and realize that they tossed away a truly loving caring relationship by being horrid.

That's a fuckin novella for me, considering my usual post length but I'm a bit riled at the moment.

hugh g rection
9th August 2006, 07:14 AM
Ahh I thought you had said 5 months, not 5 weeks. Well either way the moral remains the same, you just figured it out faster than I did. :lol:

Axlerod
9th August 2006, 09:39 AM
To quote from my favourite comedy:

"she is like all women: strange and evil"

zwmusic
9th August 2006, 07:15 PM
Women: Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em.

True Lies.

Shane_Bos
9th August 2006, 08:50 PM
Well she came ova mine today and we had a talk. I pretty much said everything that needed to be said and everytime i asked her if she atleast understood my point. She said she didnt and went off on one how i broke up with her and IM asking for HER to understand, as if she couldnt believe it. I said she sounded like a woman that forgave her husband for cheating and then brings it up in an argument 5 years later.

I ended the talk by asking her if she thought we are gona work. She said she didnt know. I said we wouldnt. She went home.

Shes still convinced all i do is put her down and hurt her. All i was tryin to do is make it work. Each time we argued, 'i hurt her', but stayed together so we could try again, then 'id hurt her' again. Im 'just like every other man'.

This is the only proper relationship ive been in that has lasted under 6 months. even the 6 month relationship, i ended cos i didnt have feelings anymore. Im like, THE best person to have a relationship with. I think that proves how impossible this girl is.

I feel a little bad though, like ive given up. Shes gona go out thinking all men are the same, gona have these barriers for the next man. The same will happen.

Valk
9th August 2006, 09:11 PM
You probably wont change her. It will only cost you more frustration and head-aches.

You seem like a decent lad. Go find someone who treats you with a little more respect.

Shane_Bos
9th August 2006, 10:24 PM
Weeeeeeell... About an hour ago, she turned up on my doorstep, crying, and admitted i was right :shock:

She didnt just say, 'you were right' either. She said she agreed that she was very insecure and that she took things i had said the wrong way because of this. She said she didnt think i was like any other guy, and that she was telling herself that to make herself feel like nothing was her fault.

She said, 'if you'll take me back, i want to give it another chance.'

I said i would. Partly because shes HOT, partly because i actually like the girl, and partly because i refuse to believe theres a relationship i cant make work.

ColdShroom
9th August 2006, 10:46 PM
... but mostly because 'make up sex' is totally fucking awesome.

wern
10th August 2006, 03:15 AM
Shane, Artee and HGR are right - HGR in the sense that this girl is damaged and won't be changed, and Artee in the sense that the way you are approaching the relationship spells doom for you in the future, as it did for HGR.

Warning - extremely cruel comments ahead:

She is damaged. This is obvious from what you have written. You can try to be a gentleman and maybe try to change her. But I believe it will be a waste of time, and result in heartbreak for you.

Or, you can end it now and move on. There are normal women out there (or so I have heard).

Or, you can play her game, by being a mean uncaring bastard to her. The sex will be great, but there won't be feeling on your part. Without feeling, there won't be emotional reactions to her erratic emotional outbursts and tantrums. That is what I would do, but then again I don't believe women are compatible with men emotionally. Great for sex, but your emotionas are best spent on your mates going out having a drunk and watching the footy. Not wasted txting and worrying over some chick doing drugs in a club with strangers that she may be hooking up with as she has in the past.

Netgear
10th August 2006, 11:03 AM
Bit of a more optimistic member here. Good luck and let us know how you go.

Shane_Bos
10th August 2006, 03:01 PM
If i dont end up with an emotional connection then i wont get hurt. I'll be fine.

ColdShroom
10th August 2006, 03:32 PM
and partly because i refuse to believe theres a relationship i cant make work.

If i dont end up with an emotional connection then i wont get hurt. I'll be fine.

So your secret to always being able to make a relationship work is to never become emotionally attached?




That's fucking brilliant man. :neut:

K-man
10th August 2006, 06:18 PM
... but mostly because 'make up sex' is totally fucking awesome.

Ain't that the truth! :lol: :lol:

Good luck with it Shane. Hope it all works out for you but I think the elders may have a point. Keep us posted man.

Officespace2801
10th August 2006, 07:13 PM
While I think it's probably going to be a wasted effort to go back with her, I will tell you one thing. Keep doing what you're doing- if she gets an attitude with you again, put your foot down. You're in charge and make sure she knows that. You won't take her shit- she will more likely be hotter for you and more willing to do what you want if you maintain that.

And if she continues the attitude, just walk away.

G-Spot19
11th August 2006, 12:23 AM
I'd love to say i think your making a good choice, but i cant. I really hope it works out for you though.

Shane_Bos
11th August 2006, 02:41 PM
I take life as it comes, roll with the punches, cross each bridge as i come to it. I like to think my lifes a big improvisation. Obviously theres some structure of going to uni, getting a job etc but i make impulsive decisions based on 'if i want to, i'll do it, (obviously if theres no foreseeable negative consequences). If a problem arises then i'll deal with it when it comes up.

I find this way, you open doors, well, dont close as many doors as some people might. This is because you give people, situations etc a chance that otherwise you may not give just because, it might turn out bad. Admittedly, you have more of a chance of getting hurt but the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward.

Ever been in a situation where your decision to reject something or some one has resulted in a 'what if'? I dont want to ask myself that question becuase of a decision ive made.