Confused

[Shane_Bos]

Shit! Im soooo confused.

The other day i got thinking about my girlfriend. After a trail of thought i came to the conclusion that im not too sure why im with her (if you can call it a conclusion). It seems that we dont have as much in common as i thought. The other day for example she tells me she loves romance where i am just not romantic at all. Im a student and dont have the money or time to be, plus the weathers not good enough to take strolls on the beach or gaze at the stars at night.

Also, she sort of has different lifes. I go to a different school to her so its like she has a life with me and a life with her other friends. Also, she has family in spain and morrocco so its also like shes got these lifes in these countries as shes always off visiting them. Its like im a seperate part of the rest of her life.

I think its because of this i feel we shouldnt be together sometimes. All i see is her when shes with me, but the way she describes herslef when speaking about her 'other lifes' abroad or over here, she seems like a different person to what i see.

I think that because i seem to see a different person, i feel i cant give her what she wants, that she adopts to suit me so i'll stay with her. For this reason, i should split up with her.

However, when im with her, i love it and dont want to leave her. A couple of days ago i was with her and thought 'why did i doubt our relationship???' but then today, i got off the phone from her and got the original feeling again, that i shouldnt be with her, even though we both enjoy the current relationship.

This post is mainly to get this whole thing clear in my mind but would appreciate feedback, what do you guys think i should do??

[Ordo Ferrum]

Ok first things first, from what i can see you only feel this way when not with her and because your not with her most of the time you want to be with her you will feel this way an awful lot. I get the feeling that i dont want to be with my Girl friend when im not with her sometimes but when im with her im on top of the world like you are, as far as i can see i think you should assess the situation a bit more and see the bigger picture in the long run before making hasty decisions.

[BigBadBear]

Like Ordo said, don't make any rash decisions that you might regret later based on how you've felt once or twice recently. Do you see you two having a serious future together? Do you love her? How well do you get on when you're together? Consider these questions and regardless of what conclusion you reach in the end, make sure you give it a lot of thought.

Only you can decide what you should do and how you feel about her.

[Ordo Ferrum]

Well said Big Bad Bear, I totally agree with you man.

[Shane_Bos]

Im not in love with her but ive got special feelings for her. Im only 18 and shes 17, i dont see a future firstly because of the ages, secondly that i dont 'love' her yet and thirdly, we lead 2 different lifes. She loves travelling and in the future will travel anywhere she can. Ive only ever been abroad once but dont really mind and cant be arsed to travel, i love it here in my city!

[Shane_Bos]

BTW, im planning to tell her my thoughts I think, then make a decision together. She's a pretty rational, level headed person like me so we should work out the best outcome. What d'ya think?

[JB22]

But if you decide you wanna stay together, bringing this up could get her doubting the relationship. I'm not saying it will, but there is the potential for that to happen.

[BigBadBear]

But if you decide you wanna stay together, bringing this up could get her doubting the relationship. I'm not saying it will, but there is the potential for that to happen.
Definitely.

Don't bring it up with her, as that will seriously damage your chances of staying with her, even if you decide you want to be with her in the end. You need to sort this out for yourself I'm afraid.

[Shane_Bos]

Bugger! It was well simple before it got serious. Damn relationships and their complicatedness :?

[JB22]

no shit...girls are usually pretty damn hard to figure out :x

[Shane_Bos]

Against all your advice, i told her and we figured it out. We're still together and she understood everything. Shes so great. We had some fucking great sex too!!

[BigBadBear]

Sounds like it worked out pretty well in the end then. :)

[Shane_Bos]

Very well cheers :D

[JB22]

very glad to hear it shane. Glad things worked out for you. :D